


Loving Feeling

by etherealllucrezia



Series: The Three Moons [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gay as hell, Glimmer Angst, Glitradora, I wrote this at 2am sorry, Mutual Pining, OT3, Oneshot, Other, Pining, Polyamory, Song fic, Songfic, catradora, filling the f/f tag one fic at a time, glimmora - Freeform, glitra, no beta we die like men, really angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 05:30:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19144522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealllucrezia/pseuds/etherealllucrezia
Summary: glimmer loves them. they love eachother. they don’t love her.





	Loving Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> ‘a loving feeling’ - mitski

_“what do you do with a loving feeling if the loving feeling makes you more alone?”_

I love them. I love them more than I love me. My capacity for love increases whenever they laugh. I fall in love all over again when they kiss me. I love when they hold me, even if they are using me. I find myself at the bottom of a pit, and for some reason, it gets deeper and deeper and I never noticed it until it was too deep to climb out. But for some reason, I don’t want to. I love them too much to abandon these feelings, even if it hurts, and it does. God, it does.

_“what do you do with a loving feeling if they only love you when you’re all alone?”_

I’m second choice for Catra. She teases me and taunts me. She kisses me in a cave, where no one can see. She knows every time she runs, I’ll come after her. I’m enamoured with her. She’s bad for me, but she’s so sweet. But so bad. She’s soft, not like Adora is. Literally, she’s soft. Her skin has a slight layer of fur to it, softer than a kitten. Her claws dig into my back slightly as we kiss. Her ears always jolt up if I surprise her with a kiss, but eventually fall back down. But no matter how much I fall in love with her, no matter how much I memorise every mannerism, she won’t love me. She never will.

_“holding hands under the table, meeting up in your bedroom,”_

Adora wants Catra to know, but not for her to see. She’ll meet me in my room at night, leaving as many marks against my skin as possible. Red, black, blue. The colour of my heart, the colour of its bruise. She finds the scratches on my back and pieces together that they are from her.

_“making love to other people, telling each other it’s all good.”_

She’ll only love me if Catra can see. She’ll only love me if she craves physical affection. She’ll only love me if it’s not real love. She’s kind, but not kind enough. She’s near, but not near enough. I need her. I need her. She touches me, but never feels me. I love her. She doesn’t love me back.

_“kisses like pink cotton candy, talking to everyone but me,”_

Catra holds me with her eyes closed. She runs her hands through my pink hair. She mumbles a name, it’s barely coherent, but I know it Adora’s. She kisses me like she misses me. Like she’s yearning, but I know it’s not for me. She yearns for someone else, and she won’t let me forget it. Ever reminding me I’m a substitute Adora. I tell her I’m fine with that. She’s just a toy to me. But I’m not fine. She’s my most prized possesion, and I keep her in a golden casket. Except, she doesn’t know that, since she can’t see through the one way mirror.

_“im staying out late just in case you come up and ask to leave with me.”_

Adora holds me like she has an objective. I’m a task that needs to be completed as fast as possible. She loves me, she marks me, she promises me, then she leaves me. She does her damage and leaves me to deal with the reparations. She wreaks her havoc on my heart and I never hear from her again.

_“what do you do with a loving feeling if the loving feeling makes you more alone?”_

For some reason, it’s more painful with Adora. Adora says that she loves me, even though she doesn’t. She lies with a warm smile, like it’s nothing. The sincerity in her insincerity scares me. She looks me in the eye, with soft eyes and tells me she loves me. I find myself believing her until I manage to drag myself back down to reality. She won’t love me, because deep down I’ll always be second place. If Catra said she’d have Adora, Adora would drop me the way my heart drops when I see them smile.

_“what do you do with a loving feeling if they only love you when you’re all alone?”_

I know this. I know this because I’ve been in the same room as them two when they are together. When they’re together, they become the centre of each other’s world. Nothing else matters. I’m barely there. I’m just someone they know.

Both of them use me to get back at the other. I know this. But I love them both, and I can’t let them go. They know this.

_“you only love me if we’re all alone.”_

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued. I wrote this at 2am


End file.
